Worthless!
I have the
imagination of a rock.
I start
something and can't keep it up.
I can't even
follow a simple schedule.
I'm about as
useful as non sticky duct tape.
Sometimes, I
feel like I'm on top of the world. Sometimes, there's nothing I can't do. Sometimes,
the world is at my feet and I can do everything.
Other times ...
I feel like I'm feeling right now.
Do you ever get
these kinds of feelings? Do you ever feel so incompetent and insignificant and
guilty that you can't even? Like, literally cannot even?
I was supposed
to write a blog post for tomorrow. I was supposed to produce a page or so of
interesting content, to attract new readers and to give existing ones something
cool to read about.
Instead, I'm
sitting here with a blank mind, feeling like shit because I'm not even
competent enough to write one damn post per week.
So, I'm having one
of those "why even bother, you're not creative, you're incompetent, nobody
even reads your blog..." moments. The problem is, this blog is supposed to be about loving life and doing and
being positive but I couldn't, for the life of me, produce anything like that
right now.
That's why I asked some of my blogger/enterpreneur friends for help. They're a bunch of mostly happy individuals but can, sometimes, get stuck in a self-hating rut like all of us, but, fortunately for us, they know how to deal with it and have been happy to share their thoughts and struggles with us.
Read their stories:
»Life is about ebb and flow. We
don't need to overcome those feelings. They will leave on their own. Pay
attention to your feelings rather than fighting them; they may be trying to
tell you something.«
- Sue from quietuderoad.com
»I have definitely experienced
depression, doubt, and sometimes guilt that my blog is centered around joy, but
I don't always feel it. But heavens, no one would believe you if you were
always joyful. I think my honest, struggling - through posts are the ones that
people enjoy most. I don't deny the struggle. Rather, I try to offer the
concrete ways I do that. Someone nearby who knows me well and can encourage me
also helps tons!«
- Ivanna from provocativejoy.com
If anyone ever tried to tell me they were
always happy and positive and confident and shit rainbows, I'd never believe them!
- Julia from candidlyjules.com
»I have two stages when depression hits. I
have chronic depression (I think that is the term) - I was diagnosed with it
several years ago and I have to deal with it much like people deal with
diabetes or high blood pressure. I don't mean just taking pills (I'm actually
off meds right now) - but I need to be aware of where I'm at and if I'm close
to sinking again. My first 24 hours - I give in and sleep or just do whatever.
I used to be nonfunctional for days and didn't care...now - I allow myself one
full day to just...veg. Who knows...maybe I really need rest? Maybe I need to
put my feet up and watch hulu or color in a coloring book? Whatever ... that
day becomes my mental health day and my family knows to leave me alone. After
that 24 hours...well..that's another post.«
- Peg from creativehelpmates.com (Peg has
shared her struggles with depression here and here)
»I was just in this boat last
week, literally. I felt like I wrote to a void. I am dealing with health issues
that took my career, caused depression, anxiety, and felt utterly worthless. I
can say overall blogging and art saved my life. I have trigeminal neuralgia,
the suicide disease it is called, due to excruciating nerve pain. I literally
thought nobody cared and last week it all turned around. My blog taught me to
be real, share your true story. We are women with struggles that make us so real
to others. When you feel bad, truly feel it, process it. Then exercise, read,
draw, refocus your mind. Deep breathing calms the nervous system, there are
good apps. Spotify has my playlist of happy songs, and that really can help. If
that doesn't work, turtle in bed and call it a night. I totally came out in my
blog about my illness I hid for 6 or 7 years, what the hell was I thinking!?«
- Brandie from www.graphicbrewery.com
»I love asking others for help
when I feel down! Here are my tips "When I'm covered in spit up, the
babies don't want to nap, my coffee is cold and my creativity gone, I do these
three things. I ask for help with the kids and treat myself to a trip to Hobby
Lobby, alone. That normally helps my creativity spark again. If I can't get
help, I put the little ones in the stroller and go for a walk outside. The
fresh air helps to perk me up. If it's a really bad day, then the only thing
that will help is ordering take out, drinknig a glass of red wine and watching
Downton Abbey to get my mind off things. Be kind with yourself, you won't
always be super creative. You need to rest to recharge.«
- Suzi from startamomblog.com
No one is ever worthless! My husband read your post over my shoulder and explained, "Even non-sticky duct tape has a purpose and can be used for something!!"
ReplyDeleteYou're doing fine if you draw a blank. We all do it.
Awww, Peg, tell your husband he just made my day :)
DeleteThanks, I'll try to remember your words the next time it happens to me :)