Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Feelin' Fat? You're Still Beautiful!

The media make us believe that skinny is beautiful and 20 pounds too many means you're doomed. Nobody will ever love you and you will die alone just because you're »fat«.

That's why articles on weight loss exist in millions on the web.

I've spent most of my life (child, teen, and adult) believing that I was fat, and was, as such, imperfect, tarnished, and unworthy of love. Some people in my life did nothing to stop me from believing that. In fact, some people in my life did what they could to keep me believing that.

So I would diet. I barely ate anything for a period of time. I'd weigh less and less, but every time I looked in the mirror I'd be repulsed by all the »fat« I saw.

I had such low self esteem. My confidence was next to none. It seemed like nothing was more important than losing weight and becoming thin. I was 14.

Then I grew up a bit. I realized that beauty comes more from the inside, from taking care of yourself, from loving yourself. I started wearing nice clothes. I started treating my whole self with respect. And most importantly, I stopped comparing myself to others and listening to what the media was telling me beautiful meant.

Beauty is just a social construct, and it's different in every era and place on Earth. In this modern day and age, the media show us an image of supposed beauty, not because people who look like that are actually, undeniably beautiful, but because of the money it's bringing. Tell the public skinny is beautiful, and sales of weight loss products, diet foods, and fad diets will skyrocket.

In reality, your weight really isn't an issue as far as being beautiful goes. Being »fat« does not mean you are ugly.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't, in any case, be trying to lose weight. If you're not feeling OK, if your health is declining and if you're finding it hard to perform everyday tasks, then by all means consider if your weight might be the reason. But don't lose weight because you want to feel beautiful. If you want to feel beautiful, look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. Say it, and say it out loud: »Hell, I AM beautiful!« Think of all the good things you've done in your life, and how happy they made you and others feel. Learn to love your body for enabling you to move, to dance, to sing. Don't shove it into tiny clothes in the hopes of fitting in with the rest of the crowd; wear a flowy dress or baggy pants and admire the comfort you feel when you're dressed in your favourite pajamas.

Look at some pictures of bigger girls online. Look at how nice they're dressed, and look at how confident they are. They are BEAUTIFUL.

As for the haters? (And yes, there will be haters, because they are EVERYWHERE, praying on our weaknesses to try and make us feel miserable): Fuck them! If someone tells you you're fat, you're lazy, you're unworthy just tell them: »And you're a horrible person, so who's worse off?« Remember, even people who are underweight sometimes get called fat. Then, there's people with the »friendly« advice. The ones who constantly bombard you with »lose weight, it's for your own good!« lines. Yeah ... No. Honey, no. If you're concerned for me, tell me once (and don't tell me at all if you don't know me!). Then, if I ask you for your help, help me. If I say that I feel fine, take my word for it. But don't tell me constantly that I'm too heavy and that I need to lose weight.

How do you feel in your body? Honestly? Do you love yourself (because you should!) or hate yourself? Why? Share it in the comments!

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